I’m Only 18.
18 years old…
Shift Manager.
Internship.
Fellowship.
Working with kids after school.
Working with kids to show them school.
Working with a girl; helping her to shape her future.
Working with a girl; giving her needed one on one attention.
Creating a homelessness and hunger awareness team in the community.
Volunteering: job and family services, anti-human trafficking.
Honor student.
4.0
Double Major.
And what am I left with at the end of the day?
My days are filled to the brim. I give myself to everyone; I give all I’ve got. I give myself to the breaking yet still I lay awake at night, fretting I didn’t give enough, fretting there was so much more I should’ve done.
My parents; relationship is on the rocks. I feel it’s my fault.
Financially the family is hurting even more. I should’ve done more to help. I was so selfish when I chose to take that week off of work when that money could’ve gone towards bills.
Yet, I’m only 18.
How can I be a shift manager!? How can do what is needed for my family? How can I be who that little girl needs me to be?
I’m still only 18.
And I’m still left so empty. Horribly, tragically empty.
At the end of the day, who can I go to? I’ve always been the strong point that people can count on to be there; that they can go to for anything. But who do I have?
I write today because I have no one that I feel I can voice this to. I write today because at the end of it all, I’ve left no time for me, for my relationships, for my life. I’ve invested so much into their lives that I’ve forgotten about mine.
Sure, I’m doing so much. But at the end of the day, where does that leave me?
kadi.
